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April 21 2020


jo march really was like. i love the people around me and i cannot cope with them leaving and being mature and appealing enough to start new chapters in their lives while i’m still clinging into this idealised, carefree, comedy-like lifestyle i thought was gonna last forever. and i really thought platonic relationships could replace my repressed longing for a romantic one but now all my loved ones’ first priorities became romance. meanwhile i cannot put myself out seeking a romantic relationship because that would automatically mean altering, belittleing, objectifying and compromising myself, my life would become a cliche with guaranteed unhappy ending because i feel like no one in this world could truly make me happy. and i do want to embrace my independent, single lifestyle but i guess i didnt calculate back then how lonely it’s going to feel. it’s like my only choice is between two types of unhappiness. jo march conveyed all this stuff and i’m not supposed to tear up just thinking about that goddamn movie???



I’m reminded of that disaffected Trump supporter who told a reporter “He’s not hurting the people he needs to be hurting” (in relation to the federal government shutdown last year). To quote Vox, “Making America great again, in [their minds], involves inflicting pain.” Inflicting, not experiencing. They believe it’s their god-given right to hurt and subjugate others. 

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I was reflecting on the past few months and just realized I never told y’all about the time God effectively rickrolled me in my theology professor’s office

so when my sleep paralysis was getting really bad and my ocd was flaring up, I went to see my theology professor to talk through some of it and ask for prayer. 

now the thing about my prof is that despite having a wealth of knowledge and a refined way of speaking, he is also very approachable. he exudes calm and is really quite casual and ordinary in ways that offset his deep, quiet wisdom. one of these ways is that he likes to have music playing in his office, mostly comprised of 70s and 80s hits. so talking to him ends up feeling more like talking to your kind knowledgeable uncle than Your Professor Who Grades Your Papers

anyway, we talked about our experiences with ocd and he did his pastorly thing where he dispensed wisdom into my brain and reminded me of the great love of God, and I felt the peace of Christ settle into my soul. and the faint chord progressions of Toto’s “Africa” echoed in the background, and it was all a Very Good Mood, and then…

and then.

he began to pray for me.

and not five seconds after his first “God our Father,” I heard that unmistakable opening drum riff, and it took everything I had in me not to lose it right then and there

do you know how surreal it is to have someone pray blessings over you while a meme is boppin in the background? or to listen to your professor pray “Father, remind Your daughter that You are near to her at all times” while Rick Astley chimes in with never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, as though God’s faithfulness is truly what he’s been singing about this whole time??

do you???


Tumblr does a dumb thing where, if you include links in your reblog, it doesn’t show up in the notes section as anyone having added anything. So, hey, I’m reblogging my reblog so OP can see this? Maybe? It’s an experiment in Tumblr’s poor design choices!


Yep, it’s a thing. A couple links:

How Chronic Pain Affects Memory Mood

Chronic Pain Can Impair Memory


The husband and I were talking the other day and we came to the conclusion that we believe chronic pain, after having it for almost a decade, has permanently altered my brain and how it processes and stores information (specifically short and long-term memory).

Anybody know if that’s really a thing?

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I got REALLY fucking frustrated at Costco trying to get some goddamned eggs and having people not practising even the slightest bit of social distancing, so I came home and made a bunch of shirts, because then people have no goddamned excuse for not leaving us high-risk individuals who have no choice but to go out ALONE.

Also, I still have to buy groceries, so now those shirts are listed for sale. Hopefully they’ll help someone.

[Image: A bunch of shirts of various cuts declaring the wearer is “High Risk! Please Stay Back At Least Six Feet (thank you!)”.]

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Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

Reposted byexistentialciarkamaardhundamphetaminelogicel-kaktusxnothumanalallkrolfasolekveronica-opalahniuks-laughterniskowoofbitchesandbutterfliesnowaktualnyoxygeniumsusovvatrytorunawaynothingiseverythingtbtftyhr
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me, taking every quiz i see on my dash: tell me who i am please

Reposted byheadsbangbang headsbangbang
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E.E. Cummings, Complete Poems, 1904-1962

Reposted byexistential existential


Greatest post of all time


gf bread: *is gluten free*

my absolute idiot brain: [softly] girlfriend bread 💖👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🍞💖


Accessible Gardening for People with Physical Disabilities 

I just saw a picture of this book going around with a link to a sold out Canadian Amazon site. So for everyone in the U.S. who wants to start a garden this year, here you go! 


Aha this is me after a 3rd instruction. Legit have it in my uni records once I was diagnosed with dyslexia and dyscalculia as an adult anything that’s more than 3 things is gonna go straight out my head my dudes. Also short term memory, we don’t know her.


if u verbally give me a set of instructions that has more than TWO steps i promise u i will not retain them. the very moment u give me a third instruction my brain is immediately cleared like a fuckin etch a sketch dude pls im begging u write it down for me bc i will NOT remember a word u said if u tell me more than two steps im begging u


chronic pain be like hmmmm today i will cause problems on Purpose


some snowy day doodles as sun poured into my bedroom windows - the air is fresh + new…i’m thankful for days of rest + being still for a little while 🌤❄️

instagram: kate_ashbrook

Reposted byadrift adrift

r/ChronicPain - CDC are requesting comments of patients in pain. Please go to Federal Register and comment.


I realize this link is really ugly and I’m sorry.  But I have a cluster headache and really cannot brain well enough to disseminate the information into a post. 

Basically the CDC is requesting comments regarding chronic pain.  From what I read in the Reddit comments, you don’t have to be in pain to comment, it can be a friend or family member.

This relates directly to the opioid “epidemic.”  (The only epidemic here is the fact that the CDC is actively working in the US to separate chronic pain patients from a decent quality of life by denying them the meds they need to function.)

Again, the above link is the explanation, here is the link to leave comments: https://www.regulations.gov/comment?D=CDC-2020-0029-0001

If anyone wants to create a more legible post, please reblog this with a link to your post and we’ll promote it.

If you are at all comfortable, please consider submitting it to us so that we can post it directly here and tag it for maximum (and here’s where my brain died) exposure?  That way it will still link to your blog directly but also you can be spared all the asshats that are sure to come along in the notes.


“Preserve me, O God: for in thee do I put my trust.”

— Psalm 16:1 (via theprocast)

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